I've been dealing with chronic fatigue for over 6 months. Initially I blamed this on the delights of being Perimenopausal. It appears that this wasn't the full picture.
You mention not still being you. So I thought about what are the three things about you and will they still be correct and they are: clever, creative and caring.
This hits harder than I expected. Thank you for putting language to that liminal space between “I’m functioning” and “I’m unwell.” It’s wild how easy it is to dismiss chronic pain when you’ve adapted so well to living with it. Until your nervous system waves the white flag.
There’s also something quietly radical in the way you’ve reframed strength. You’re no longer proving your resilience by “bouncing back,” but by absorbing complexity without losing your centre. That’s a deeper kind of power. One that doesn’t rise from denial, but from integration.
Thank you so much Heather for modelling what it looks like to lead even while healing. It’s a different kind of leadership. But maybe the one we’ve needed all along.
I’m sorry you are dealing with this but I love your approach. Thank you for putting this out there because I think I need to see the doctor. So many of your symptoms show up in my life on the weekly. I love the idea of small yet aspirational goals.
Sorry to hear you are suffering. It’s not easy getting an invisible illness label which is as much mental as physical. But it’s better to deal with a known than an unknown.
Listen to your body, it will tell you loud and clear what you want/need. I've been on a long and complicated journey to diagnosis, which has led me to tremor disorder, migralepsy, fibromyalgia, EDS and Lupus. I'm a bit fed up. But we hold our places strong and keep going until our bodies say rest. And then we rest and behave ourselves. We'll never be who we were before. But we can be something different, interesting, with a story to tell, and experience to put to good use.
It sounds like you get to shout bingo with that list. And I am sorry to hear this. In many ways I was relieved to hear it was ‘just’ Fibro on top of the known stuff.
I haven’t yet embraced the new me. But it will take time.
It’s not a competition my love, fibromyalgia is enough. I think they’re all connected with my neurodivergence, there are lots of people like me.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It’s natural to grieve for the old you. I’m here if you need to talk. Our brains have this lovely way of telling us what we should be able to do and making us feel worse. But I’m here to give that voice a talking to if needed. xx
We have to be able to laugh at ourselves, it makes acceptance easier to come by. `And we know each other better to know we're not being negative with each other. I see you.
A very thoughtful article, and this is a much better way to approach things than denial! I know you, you're determined, so you'll make sure you're in the best place you can be, whatever that looks like.
As I said to you the other day, dealing with not being able to do things you once could with ease is a grieving process, you have a paddy and sulk then you work out how to move forward, and I do this every time I get worse (to the point I've looked at my business and gone "Can I still do this?" the answer, I firmly believe is Yes, it just might have to look a little different than I planned.
On the subject of pacing, I really recommend the Visible app and band - rather than a fitness tracker, it's in illness tracker, and will let you know when you're overdoing it, and you can see a. what your body considers overdoing it. b. how long until you crash and how long for. c. keep track of all your symptoms. For example one of the first times I really went over my pace points I was in bed for most of the day resting. Only I was having so many muscle spasms and tremors that my body was in overdrive - had I not had the band I would have considered that day a rest day and expected to be fine. It was a real eye opener!
I look forward to seeing your journey, and wish you all the success!
When my mum had oesophageal cancer around 15 years ago, my dad wrote on the kitchen whiteboard two words: Fix Viv. All these years later, I’m inclined to believe those two words did the trick (along with an epic surgical procedure and recovery time). You’ve got this Heather - and a movement of accountants cheering you on! Let us know if we can help in any way. X
You mention not still being you. So I thought about what are the three things about you and will they still be correct and they are: clever, creative and caring.
Thank you. That is so thoughtful. I don’t feel like me at the moment. The Duracell Bunny has left the room. But she will return.
This hits harder than I expected. Thank you for putting language to that liminal space between “I’m functioning” and “I’m unwell.” It’s wild how easy it is to dismiss chronic pain when you’ve adapted so well to living with it. Until your nervous system waves the white flag.
There’s also something quietly radical in the way you’ve reframed strength. You’re no longer proving your resilience by “bouncing back,” but by absorbing complexity without losing your centre. That’s a deeper kind of power. One that doesn’t rise from denial, but from integration.
Thank you so much Heather for modelling what it looks like to lead even while healing. It’s a different kind of leadership. But maybe the one we’ve needed all along.
Thank you. I know you’ve had your own battles on the health front and come through it.
Invisible illnesses are not easy.
I am working really hard to be honest with my family and close colleagues about ‘this is how I am today and I’m feeling like this now’
I’m sorry you are dealing with this but I love your approach. Thank you for putting this out there because I think I need to see the doctor. So many of your symptoms show up in my life on the weekly. I love the idea of small yet aspirational goals.
Sorry to hear you are suffering. It’s not easy getting an invisible illness label which is as much mental as physical. But it’s better to deal with a known than an unknown.
Listen to your body, it will tell you loud and clear what you want/need. I've been on a long and complicated journey to diagnosis, which has led me to tremor disorder, migralepsy, fibromyalgia, EDS and Lupus. I'm a bit fed up. But we hold our places strong and keep going until our bodies say rest. And then we rest and behave ourselves. We'll never be who we were before. But we can be something different, interesting, with a story to tell, and experience to put to good use.
It sounds like you get to shout bingo with that list. And I am sorry to hear this. In many ways I was relieved to hear it was ‘just’ Fibro on top of the known stuff.
I haven’t yet embraced the new me. But it will take time.
It’s not a competition my love, fibromyalgia is enough. I think they’re all connected with my neurodivergence, there are lots of people like me.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It’s natural to grieve for the old you. I’m here if you need to talk. Our brains have this lovely way of telling us what we should be able to do and making us feel worse. But I’m here to give that voice a talking to if needed. xx
Definitely not a competition - and I hope my flippant comment didn’t come across negatively. Thank you for the offer of a chat.
We have to be able to laugh at ourselves, it makes acceptance easier to come by. `And we know each other better to know we're not being negative with each other. I see you.
A very thoughtful article, and this is a much better way to approach things than denial! I know you, you're determined, so you'll make sure you're in the best place you can be, whatever that looks like.
As I said to you the other day, dealing with not being able to do things you once could with ease is a grieving process, you have a paddy and sulk then you work out how to move forward, and I do this every time I get worse (to the point I've looked at my business and gone "Can I still do this?" the answer, I firmly believe is Yes, it just might have to look a little different than I planned.
On the subject of pacing, I really recommend the Visible app and band - rather than a fitness tracker, it's in illness tracker, and will let you know when you're overdoing it, and you can see a. what your body considers overdoing it. b. how long until you crash and how long for. c. keep track of all your symptoms. For example one of the first times I really went over my pace points I was in bed for most of the day resting. Only I was having so many muscle spasms and tremors that my body was in overdrive - had I not had the band I would have considered that day a rest day and expected to be fine. It was a real eye opener!
I look forward to seeing your journey, and wish you all the success!
When my mum had oesophageal cancer around 15 years ago, my dad wrote on the kitchen whiteboard two words: Fix Viv. All these years later, I’m inclined to believe those two words did the trick (along with an epic surgical procedure and recovery time). You’ve got this Heather - and a movement of accountants cheering you on! Let us know if we can help in any way. X
Thanks Tim. I know I have about 20 members of The Accountants’ Growth Club that are there to help and support me.
I’ll get this flare into remission and get strong enough to stop my wobbly joints causing problems. And yes, it is operation Energy happening.